Free Write Friday: The Hardest Goodbye

Don't forget your badge!

The hardest goodbye was the first. The first death of a loved one who was close to my heart and with whom I had spent so much time. I remember looking down at her as she lay in the coffin. She seemed so small and insignificant and yet she had been a large force in my life for so many years. I remembered her presence, her love, and her wisdom.

The hardest goodbye was the first. In saying goodbye to her, I said goodbye to the inexperience of death. I learned, firsthand, what it meant to longer touch the person I loved. I learned what it meant to no longer confide in her and laugh with her. To no longer hear her stories, or listen to her advice. I had never thought she would not be a part of my life.

The hardest goodbye was the first. I hold onto the memories of my loved ones who have left this life. I think of them often, sometimes unexpectedly. Tears come to my eyes. I miss them and long for them. My life is filled with others – some whom I love as much as I did the ones who have gone. And yet they are never replaced.

The hardest goodbye was the first. And with the first goodbye, I knew that others would come after. The circle of life includes death; and I have come to accept this. And yet saying a final goodbye to a loved one never gets easier.

The hardest goodbye was the first. And the experience did not harden my heart. The goodbyes that have come after still rip my heart apart and bring me heartache.

But the hardest goodbye was the first.

© Colline Kook-Chun, 2016

(This post is linked to Kellie Elmore’s Free Write Friday)

10 thoughts on “Free Write Friday: The Hardest Goodbye

    1. Thank you Kellie. I wrote this piece with tears in my eyes as I was thinking of those precious people who have left this earth. A big hug to you as well.


  1. The hardest one was also my first, when my best friend died, and I was his protector at the age of 12. I had never been faced with that before, I blamed myself for a while because I did not understand that everyone has a time. The hardest though were my two young sons who actually were born about 6 years apart on the same day in August. What each left with me and others who have passed, because of their love, the relationships help me to grow inwardly and I am no longer unhappy but have the great belief I will see them in time! Awesome post Colline, and delightful to read…thanks for the hugs!


    1. My heart goes out to you that you lost your dear sons. What pain you and their mother must have felt to say goodbye to their presence in your lives. I believe too that there is a place and time when I will meet my loved ones again; and the memories of them do sustain me in the moments that I miss them.


    1. I have experienced this Paula. About 12 years ago I lost two very dear women to me. In addition, I lost one of my parents a few years ago. I used this experience to write this piece.


Share what you think

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.