Should I, or shouldn’t I?
The question had been mulling in my mind for a while. I looked at Mandy, my best friend for over a decade. We had done so much together: ventured out parent-free for a night out on the town; cried in tandem when our first romance did not work out; struggled as room mates when our rent increased beyond our means. Our friendship had seemed solid and unbreakable; a friendship that would overcome yet more obstacles that life would throw at us.
And yet my best friend had become what we had promised ourselves we would never be. She clung to his every word; and would not do anything without his approval. She constantly looked at him when he was in the room; and had him in her thoughts when he was not. My free-spirited friend had gone and the person in front of me was a stranger. I missed her spontaneous laughter, her devil-may-care attitude, her independence.
It was so rare to see her alone. Just her and me. Like it was before. Maybe, just maybe, she would react the way the old Mandy would.
“Mandy, there is something I feel I should tell you. I need to say this because we are best friends, and because we made a pact to be honest with each other.”
“What is it? You look so serious. Can’t be that bad surely?”
Should I, or shouldn’t I?
My heart pounding, I took the plunge. I should. We had made a promise to one another. Surely she would see that I said these words because I loved her, because we had been through so much together.
“Remember last month when Max said he would be out of town?”
“How can I not. He brought me back such a romantic gift. He is so thoughtful and loving. I am so lucky that he has chosen me. You know what he told me yesterday? He said …”
I interrupted her. I could not bear to listen to her go on and on about this man whom I despised.
“Well this romantic man who loves you so much was with another woman last month. I saw them kissing and groping one another …”
“How dare you Anne! I knew you were jealous of Max and me but how dare you make up this story!”
“I know what I saw Mandy. They were getting really intimate and ….”
“I am not going to listen to this. Max was right. I never believed him when he said you would try to separate us. Your jealousy has changed you – I thought you would be happy for me.”
“But Mandy. He is no good for you! He is the one who is changing you, can you not see? He is not to be trusted.”
“I am sorry Anne. Max is the man for me. I have waited too long for this love. I am not going to throw it away because you think you saw something. I think we will have to go our separate ways.”
“But Mandy …”
“No Anne. I am leaving now; and I will not see you again.”
I watch her leave with a heavy heavy. Maybe I should not have. Maybe she would have eventually found out what I saw in some other way. The price of admission for what I had seen was too high: I had lost my best friend. My words had torn apart a friendship that I do not believe will ever be mended.
Would you have told what you saw?
© Colline Kook-Chun, 2012
(This post was inspired by the weekly prompt suggested by Rebecca Tsaros Dickson. This week’s prompt is “That’s the price of admission”.)