I have been a stay-at-home mom since the birth of my first child. I am the one who fed our baby, bathed her, changed her, took her for walks, played with her, later on read to her, and looked after all her needs. The same was done for the second born.
My children became used to me being the primary caregiver. They were hungry, they came to me. They fell and wanted a little tender-loving-care, they came to their mommy. They were tired, I was the one who put them to bed and sang them to sleep. It is not that their daddy did not care. He loves them very much but he worked long hours and would often be home for dinner and, a little time after, it was bedtime.
Now the children are older and as I begin working the dynamics are changing; as are the responsibilities of each parent. I have written about me, as a mom, needing to let go of my children. But now I find that my children need to let go of me – and learn to trust their dad.
Slowly the children are beginning to realise that it is okay to do things differently to the way mommy does it. They are beginning to trust that daddy knows what he is doing when taking care of them. The sandwich may not be prepared in mommy’s style; but it tastes just as good. Daddy may explain the Math problem in a different way; but eventually they will understand the concept.
Letting go and learning to trust seems to be an experience both parents and children need to understand. Just as I need to slowly learn to trust that my children are old enough to look after themselves; so too they need to let go of the apron strings.
Have your children learned to let go and to trust another caregiver?
© Colline Kook-Chun, 2012